Monday, January 29, 2007

Beatific desires

Recently I have been struggling with Patience. After all I have been through in life, I would think that I would have become an expert in patience by now, but alas I am not. Don't get me wrong, I can be very patient in the small matters in life. It is the "Big Picture" patience that I seem to lack of late. That is to say, I long for heaven, and I am getting a bit impatient to get there. Not that this impatience would drive me to suicide or something crazy like that. I'm not THAT impatient! But every day that passes I long to be in a relationship where I am fully known and loved and I can know and love fully in return; a deeply intimate relationship that can only be experienced through God. I love my friendships here, I have some of the best friends anyone can ever imagine. I also have a very loving family. I have great mentors, and bosses, and other examples of holiness in my life. All-in-all I am a very blessed man. But of all these great and wonderful people, none of them *really* know me. Many of them know a lot *about* me, and several of them know me fairly well (my parents and my best friends,) but none of them know me like the Lord knows me. He knows me better than I know myself! and He loves me more than I love myself (which is no small feat at times...) and this is what I long for.

This life seems like a passing dream of which I will some day wake up and find myself gazing into the face of my beloved, and experiencing a love so full that this life will seem like a dim old shadow of a memory where my love was weak and tainted. Oh, how I long for that day! May I have the patience to live out my life here faithfully.

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