Marriage and other things

I recently got married and must say first off that it is a huge blessing! It is also a lot of work!

I was commenting to several people that as a single man I thought I was doing fairly well in my walk with God. I have been blessed to have had intense adult formation over the last 12 years and have finally realized what it means to truly be a "Man of God." I thought that I had 'my house' in fairly good order and that I knew what my strengths and weaknesses were. My formal formation had come to an end a few years ago and I thought I had died to my flesh in a great many ways and was well on my way to holiness. Then I married - and I now realize that my young adult formation was a mere stepping stone, a foundation, for my "real" formation which comes through married life. I have realized that I only had a shadow of what it means to truly love someone. I now know that I know very little and have such a long way to go in learning how to love someone as the Lord loves them. I am a mere infant when it comes to love.

My recent reflections as I have begun my permanent vocation have been along these lines: What is married life for? What is the purpose of marriage? Why have I decided to do this? Am I really embracing these ideas and trying to live them out?

Marriage as a vocation is a path to sanctity. It is meant to bring us closer to God by living out a life that mirrors the triune God. Marriage is where we learn to give over our own desires and pursuits in service of the other for the greater glory of God. It is where we learn to love others and God loves us. It is where we have the opportunity to empty ourselves fully so that we may be filled with Christ and where we learn to be true instruments of the Lord. It is where we become what God has made us to become - images of Himself.

I have chosen this vocation? Yes and No. Yes: In freedom I made a conscious act of the will to enter into this covenant. I said "Yes" to my wife and to God. No: God chose this vocation for me before the world began by making me as He did. I was answering the Lord's call. I was made for this vocation, in order to become the man God wants me to become. The vocation chose me, and I likewise chose it as well.

I am trying to live this great calling. It is overwhelming, especially at first, but I am giving it my full attention and effort. I fully understand that this is a journey and not a destination, and I am as prepared as I can be to keep moving forward, even in the face of difficulty and adversity. I do not know how this will all unfold, but I do know that a great price awaits me in the end.